{"id":57697,"date":"2021-04-14T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-14T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tilt.work\/?p=57697"},"modified":"2021-05-19T11:41:23","modified_gmt":"2021-05-19T09:41:23","slug":"tre-tomme-stoler-kan-gi-deg-et-nytt-perspektiv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tilt.work\/blog\/2021\/04\/14\/tre-tomme-stoler-kan-gi-deg-et-nytt-perspektiv\/","title":{"rendered":"Tre tomme stoler kan gi deg et nytt perspektiv"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Inspirert av Bj\u00f8rn Z. Ekelunds artikkel om trialogen<\/a> som arbeidsform i konfliktl\u00f8sning, g\u00e5r tankene mine til \u00abTre stoler\u00bb, et coachingverkt\u00f8y jeg personlig har hatt stor nytte av, b\u00e5de som coach og coachee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tre stoler<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Enkelt forklart handler \u00f8velsen med de tre stolene om \u00e5 gi coachee tilgang p\u00e5 flere perspektiver knyttet til det han eller hun opplever som en krevende eller fastl\u00e5st relasjon til et annet menneske.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rommet m\u00f8bleres med tre tomme stoler, der to plasseres rett ovenfor hverandre, og den tredje litt p\u00e5 siden, i det som kan oppleves som en naturlig observat\u00f8rposisjon. Coachee velger selv sin stol, og hvem i coachees liv de to andre stolene skal representere. F\u00f8rst \u00e9n \u00abmotpart\u00bb og s\u00e5 en person coachee har tillit til at kan fylle den n\u00f8ytrale observat\u00f8rrollen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Coachens rolle er kun \u00e5 fasilitere, og gjennom trygg guiding \u00e5 gi coachee mulighet til \u00e5 regulere avstanden mellom stolene etter hva som oppleves h\u00e5ndterbart eller bekvemt, kjenne p\u00e5 egen tilstand i ulike posisjoner, sette ord p\u00e5 tanker og observasjoner, og stille relevante sp\u00f8rsm\u00e5l. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gjennom seansen forflytter coachee seg mellom de ulike stolene\/posisjonene, inntar de andres perspektiv og ser seg selv (og den andre) utenfra, f\u00f8r hun eller han ender i egen stol igjen og kjenner etter hva som er annerledes n\u00e5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hva skjer n\u00e5r vi skifter perspektiv?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Mitt f\u00f8rste m\u00f8te med denne \u00f8velsen var som coach-student. Jeg valgte \u00e5 l\u00f8fte fram opplevelsen av \u00e5 bli avvist av en godt voksen kollega p\u00e5 et grunnlag jeg ikke forsto. Forl\u00f8sningen i mitt tilfelle kom da jeg satte meg i hennes stol, og s\u00e5 meg selv fra et helt nytt perspektiv. Jeg var nyansatt i en virksomhet, og kom inn med en helt annen, og for min kollega ukjent kompetanse. Samtidig hadde v\u00e5r felles leder varslet at jeg skulle inn p\u00e5 denne kollegaens banehalvdel, et omr\u00e5de hun hadde styrt sv\u00e6rt godt p\u00e5 egenh\u00e5nd i mange \u00e5r. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Selvinnsikten \u00f8kte ytterligere med stunden jeg befant meg i observat\u00f8rstolen. Der hadde jeg plassert ei klok og god venninne jeg ofte spurte om r\u00e5d. Hun kunne fortelle meg at dette burde jeg, med min erfaring, forst\u00e5tt helt av meg selv, og at her ville jeg komme langt med en mer ydmyk tiln\u00e6rming til min godt voksne kollega.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det h\u00f8rer med til historien at jeg kom tilbake p\u00e5 jobb med ny innsikt og en helt annen tiln\u00e6rming, og gjennom flere \u00e5r utviklet et n\u00e6rt og godt samarbeid med denne kollegaen. Jeg fikk stor respekt for, og glede av, hennes dybdekunnskap p\u00e5 sitt omr\u00e5de. Selv fikk jeg betydelig p\u00e5fyll i egen verkt\u00f8ykasse p\u00e5 veien. Det hun trengte, var bevis p\u00e5 at jeg heller ikke var noen \u00ablettvekter\u00bb, og at jeg som henne hadde en grunnleggende respekt for enkeltindividene vi jobbet for og med. Denne innsikten trengte hun tid p\u00e5, siden den for hennes del m\u00e5tte komme gjennom samtaler og erfaring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hvem ville du invitert til stolm\u00f8te?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hvem ville du invitert til stolm\u00f8te? Det fine med denne \u00f8velsen, er at de to andre ikke er fysisk til stede, det er du som fyller alle rollene og flytter deg imellom. \u00abMotparten\u00bb og \u00abobservat\u00f8ren\u00bb trenger ikke en gang vite at m\u00f8tet finner sted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Likevel kan du i etterkant kjenne at det har skjedd noe med relasjonen, maktbalansen eller n\u00e6rheten mellom dere, fordi du har f\u00e5tt utvidet ditt eget blikk p\u00e5 situasjonen, og tilf\u00f8rt noen nye ressurser eller verkt\u00f8y. Noen ganger vil du kjenne deg n\u00e6rmere den det gjelder, andre ganger har denne andre personen f\u00e5tt mindre makt over deg. Men, som en av mine f\u00f8rste coachl\u00e6rere sa: \u00abDet kan ikke IKKE skje forandring!\u00bb<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

NB: Dette er ikke en fullstendig oppskrift p\u00e5 \u00f8velsen “tre stoler”. Tenker du at \u00f8velsen kan v\u00e6re noe for deg, kontakt en coach du har tillit til, og be om hjelp til \u00e5 gjennomf\u00f8re den i ordnede former. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dette er den andre artikkelen i en serie om trialogen.
F\u00f8rste artikkel: Monolog: La oss ha en dialog. Om trialog.<\/a>
Tredje artikkel: Innsikt som gir utsikt<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Et rom med tre tomme stoler kan v\u00e6re det som viser vei ut av en fastl\u00e5st relasjon. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":57786,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_price":"","_stock":"","_tribe_ticket_header":"","_tribe_default_ticket_provider":"","_tribe_ticket_capacity":"0","_ticket_start_date":"","_ticket_end_date":"","_tribe_ticket_show_description":"","_tribe_ticket_show_not_going":false,"_tribe_ticket_use_global_stock":"","_tribe_ticket_global_stock_level":"","_global_stock_mode":"","_global_stock_cap":"","_tribe_rsvp_for_event":"","_tribe_ticket_going_count":"","_tribe_ticket_not_going_count":"","_tribe_tickets_list":"[]","_tribe_ticket_has_attendee_info_fields":false,"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[156,144],"tags":[1191,2208,1229,1391,1412],"kompetanse":[],"tema":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTre tomme stoler kan gi deg et nytt perspektiv - 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