tilt | Ukategorisert | «They’re made out of meat»

«They’re made out of meat»

tirsdag 25. oktober 2005 @ 04:54

En klassiker som forklarer hvorfor vi ennå ikke har fått besøk av utenomjordiske vesener.
Av Paal Leveraas

They’re made out of meat.
— Meat?
— Meat. They’re made out of meat.
— Meat?

— There’s no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They’re completely meat.

— That’s impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?

— They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don’t come from them. The signals come from machines.

— So who made the machines? That’s who we want to contact.

— They made the machines. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.

«That’s ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You’re asking me to believe in sentient meat?»

— That’s ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You’re asking me to believe in sentient meat?

— I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they’re made out of meat.

— Maybe they’re like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage.– Nope. They’re born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn’t take long. Do you have any idea what’s the life span of meat?

— Spare me. Okay, maybe they’re only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside.

— Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They’re meat all the way through.

— No brain?

— Oh, there’s a brain all right. It’s just that the brain is made out of meat! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.

— So … what does the thinking?

— You’re not understanding, are you? You’re refusing to deal with what I’m telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat.

— Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!

— Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?

— Omigod. You’re serious then. They’re made out of meat.

— Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they’ve been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years.

— Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?

— First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual.

— We’re supposed to talk to meat?

— That’s the idea. That’s the message they’re sending out by radio. ‘Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.’ That sort of thing.

— They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?

— Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat.

— I thought you just told me they used radio.

— They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.

— Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?

— Officially or unofficially?

— Both.

«Oh my God – singing, thinking meat! Let’s just pretend there’s no one home in the Universe.»

— Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing.

— I was hoping you would say that.

— It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?

— I agree one hundred percent. What’s there to say? ‘Hello, meat. How’s it going?’ But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?

— Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can’t live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact.

— So we just pretend there’s no one home in the Universe?

— That’s it.

— Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You’re sure they won’t remember?

— They’ll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we’re just a dream to them.

— A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat’s dream.

— And we marked the entire sector unoccupied.

— Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?

— Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again.

— They always come around.

— And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone …


This story was a 1991 Nebula nominee and appeared in Omni, april 1991. Written by Terry Bisson.

The video:

Våre ukebrev

Her kan du melde deg på et eller flere av våre ukebrev. Du kan melde deg av eller endre hva du mottar via lenker i epostene.

"*" obligatorisk felt

Navn*

Litt klokere

Ukentlige nettmøter hvor vi gjør hverandre litt klokere. Du må være logget inn som medlem for å melde deg på.

PrivacyTech

Som medlem i PrivacyTech-nettverket blir du en del av en gruppe likesinnede profesjonelle som er opptatt av GDPR, personvern, compliance og tech. Med Eva Jarbekk – en av Norges fremste eksperter på området – som fasilitator.

Partners in tilt

Vårt nettverk av «kloke hoder» (team tilt) med en bærekraftsagenda.

Del dine tanker om denne artikkelen

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Din e-postadresse vil ikke bli publisert. Obligatoriske felt er merket med *

På forsiden nå

Episodeinfo OmLivet-podden

Lyttetips: Du kan mer enn du tror

|
Flinke piker og gutter bruker uforholdsmessig mye tid på å gruble, være selvkritiske og tvile på seg selv. Bedragersymptomet (the Impostor Syndrom) er velpløyd mark for disse flinke. I denne podcasten får du tips til hvordan du kan «lure» bedragersymptomet.
Kritisk tenkning

Kritisk tenkning

|
Falsk eller feilaktig informasjon er en stor utfordring, men det egentlige problemet er hvordan vi tenker.
Podcasten uttafor men innafor

Tilt-spekket podcast om HR-avdelingens rolle

|
Er HR for opptatt av prosedyrer? Er det egentlig et mål å holde ansatte i jobb lengst mulig? Kan EUs ESG krav redde lederskapet i ledelse?
digital kompetanse

KI og digital kompetanse: Houston, we have a problem …

|
Over halvparten av alle norske ansatte trenger en betydelig oppgradering av digital kompetanse og ferdigheter.
Griske tidstyver i kloke hoder

Griske tidstyver i kloke hoder

|
Selv selverklærte «kloke hoder» plages med maur som kravler rundt i hodene og skaper engstelse og stress.
Tillit og to andre suksessfaktorer for lykkelandet Norge

Tillit og to andre suksessfaktorer for lykkelandet Norge

|
Det er tre faktorer i samfunnet som skaper lykke. Vår grunnlov tar vare på alle tre. Det er viktigere enn noensinne å verne om dem, minner Arne Jensen om.
dårlig leder

At noen forteller deg at du er en dårlig leder, behøver ikke bety at du er det.

|
«Den situasjonen håndterte du ubegripelig dårlig! Er dette det du kaller ledelse?»
givergledens dag

Givergledens dag: En sann gratis lunsj

|
Givergledens dag er et eksempel på at det faktisk finnes en gratis lunsj. Dagens skal inspirere til handling og til å skape positive endringer i samfunnet. 
Hvordan løse frivillighetskrisen?

Hvordan løse frivillighetskrisen?

|
Det norske folks gratisarbeid er verdt mellom 80 og 130 milliarder. Pandemien skapte et krakk, også i denne «bransjen». Er dugnads-Norge teknisk konkurs?

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Del dette

Delt glede er dobbelt glede. Del dette med ditt nettverk.